Damaged Secret Daddy

I thought I was over her.
But seeing her again brought all my feelings rushing back…including the anger.
Her pathetic excuses only make it worse.

When my family and I realize I have a little boy, I’m given little option in how to handle it.
This scandal could ruin my family.
Lilian and I must marry.
I can play happy family with Lilian for the sake of our son and my family’s reputation.
Even if it’s the hardest thing I’ll ever have to do.

Turns out it's way easier than I expected.
The more time we are forced to spend together, the more I remember all the reasons I loved her to begin with.
The times I have her bare body under my hands is absolute bliss.

But right as I think things are going well, she asks for a divorce.
When I find out she is pregnant with my baby… again,
things are about to get complicated…

Being late for work hasn’t helped matters, but I thought that Barry would cut me some
slack. After all, he’d been working plenty of times when Max hung around for my
shift. Felicia, the night manager, always lets me work with Max sitting in the
corner booth, coloring.

I need this shift. My rent is late, and although I’m working my way up in
an advertising office, it doesn’t pay all the bills. Being a single mom is hard
most days, but some days, it’s nearly impossible. 

This
is not the life I would have chosen for myself or my son, but I really had no
other choice. I had to leave my home, my friends, my life behind. I often dream
things are different and that Max’s dad is a part of our lives, but I learned
he didn’t really want me in his life. I was just someone to pass the time.
Someone who would never measure up to him or his family. I was a fling.

So, I was forced to make a decision that broke me, and this is where
it brought me. 

Barry
is being unreasonable and I don’t know what else to do. Looking around as I
think of a way to convince him, my eyes land on the last person on Earth I’d
ever think would get through these doors.

Of
course, after the shitty morning I’ve had, what else should I have expected?
The universe is really having a blast at my expense today. How else can I
explain coming face-to-face with my past. The one that didn’t think I was
enough. The one who destroyed me and forced a different version of me to reborn
from the ashes.

Grayson
Whitlock is staring at me in a cheap diner that barely passes the health
inspection score every month. And oh God, he looks the same. So handsome, so
tall. I feel like I can barely breathe.

But what is he doing here, of all places? He’s a billionaire, for
God’s sake. 

“Lillian,”
he says, and it sounds different than the way he used to speak to me five years
ago, lilting and sweet, kissing along my jawline to wake me. It sounds… flat,
somehow, devoid of any emotion. ”I think we need to talk.”

I
know he’s right. But what am I going to do? I ran away from this. From him. I
had to. He was never supposed to find us. Never supposed to know. Though I
always dreamed of what our lives would be like if I’d been able to share this
with him, I’ll never know.

I
never expected to have to reveal any of this. I certainly didn’t expect to have
to reveal it in the diner where I pick up occasional shifts to cover bills.
It’s embarrassing, really.

Squaring
my shoulders, I nod my head slowly, and Max accompanies us to the corner booth
while Barry just stares at us.

“If
you’re going to sit there, you gotta buy something,” Barry says gruffly, and
Grayson jerks his head toward him, glaring at him. “Bring us three specials.”

“Oh
boy,” Max cheers. “I love the special.”

The special isn’t very special, just a plate of sausage and two
biscuits drowned in sausage gravy, but Max does love it. He eats a lot, just like
Grayson always did. It’s something he got from his father along with piercing
blue eyes and that dimple in his cheek. He’s the spitting image of Grayson,
really, so it doesn’t surprise me that Grayson knows something is amiss the
second he sees us.

I
take a deep breath and sit down in the booth, Max sliding in next to me and
looking at Grayson, someone he has no idea is his father, with curiosity.

“What’s
your name?” he asks, and Grayson blinks, as if surprised.

“Grayson.
Grayson Whitlock.”

“I’m
Maximillian Brooks,” Max says proudly. “Max for short.”

Grayson
clears his throat, ignoring me and looking at his son in awe, watching him play
with the sugar packets, and it makes my heart ache.

“Grayson,”
I start. I need to know what he is doing here. What he wants after all these
years. But he glares at me, and I shut my mouth.

“Do
you know who your father is, Max?”

My
breath catches in my throat. Max has asked, of course, about his father, but I
haven’t gotten so far as telling him. I couldn’t. And it broke my heart to deny
it to him every single time.

Max
shakes his head. “Mom says I don’t have one.”

“Is
that so?” Grayson looks at me, and I swear if looks could kill, I’d be dead on
the spot. “What if you did? Have a father, I mean?”

“Wow,”
Max breathes. “That’d be great.”

“You
think so?” Grayson smiles, his eyes turning back to Max. I remember that smile.
As much as it takes me back, I know that things changed so much he’ll never
turn it to me again. I know I was right in the choice I made at the time. It
was the only way. But at the same time, none of them deserved being without the
other, and that will always be on me, regardless of what led to me leaving.

I never forgot Grayson. He was everything to me. But as time goes
by, memories change. Now, most of the time, I think our time together is some
fever dream I had. I know that he didn’t feel the same way about me as I felt
about him. The way I still feel, after all these years.

“Yeah.
We could play catch and stuff. Mom’s not very good at catch,” Max says, looking
at me from the corner of his eye as if he thinks I’ll be hurt or offended by
that statement.

“What
if I told you that I was your father?” Grayson says, and again, my breath
catches. Of course, he doesn’t need any more confirmation than looking at Max.
But this is too much. Too fast. What does he think he is doing? Doesn’t he know
this is will destroy Max when he leaves? Like it destroyed me when I was forced
to leave.

Max’s
eyes widen, but he’s smiling. “Is that true? Mom, is it true?”

I
can’t lie to my son. Not about anything, but especially, not about this. So, I
nod slowly, not knowing what else to do, and Max goes out of the booth and
jumps into Grayson’s lap, just like that. Max has always been a sweet kid,
accepting of all the changes we had to go through with me being a single mom
and having to move around a lot, trying to escape exactly this moment.

I
can see tears sparkling in Grayson’s blue eyes as he slowly puts his arms
around his son, and I can’t fight a smile, but when he looks at me, there’s
nothing behind his eyes but pure rage.

“Is
there somewhere we can go to speak alone?” Grayson asks, and I shake my head,
swallowing hard.

“No.
I couldn’t find a sitter, that’s why he’s here with me.” I gesture to my
uniform.

Grayson
curses under his breath and Max giggles.

“Mom
says that’s a bad word.”

“Mom’s
very smart,” Grayson drawls, although it doesn’t sound to me like he means that
in a positive way.

“I
can make a few calls,” I say, my voice hoarse. I wasn’t able to find a sitter
before my shift, but maybe I can try my best friend, Maria, again, and though
she said she couldn’t take Max for the whole shift, I hope that she’s available
to watch Max for a couple of hours, if I beg her.

I
step away hesitantly, but Grayson and Max are just chatting, seemingly happy. I
bite my lip as I call Maria.

“Listen,”
I say as soon as she answers the phone. “I need a big favor.”

“I
told you I really can’t watch Max for a night shift, Lil, I’ve got a date
tonight,” she complains.

“I
just need a couple of hours. Max’s dad is in town,” I say, and she goes silent
on the other line.

“Max’s…
dad?” she asks, as if that’s a foreign concept.

“Yeah.
I really need you to babysit, Maria, please.”

“Shit.
Okay, bring him over. I’ll cancel my date.”

All of the air goes out of my lungs in a rush. 

“Thank
you, Maria. I owe you one.”

I
walk back over to the booth, and Max is giggling like Grayson has said
something hysterical. I smile at the two of them but Grayson’s smile fades when
he looks at me.

“If
you wait here, I’ll come back after I drop Max off with a friend, and we can
talk,” I suggest, but before I’m even done with the sentence, Grayson is
shaking his head.

“Absolutely
not. What guarantee do I have that you’ll come back? I won’t let you take my
son again,” he says in a low voice, and since Max is still giggling, he doesn’t
hear.

I
hate the way his voice sounds, low and mean, nothing compared to the way he
used to talk to me five years ago.

I
nod. “Fair enough. Can you give us a ride, then? The bus doesn’t run for a
couple of hours.”

Grayson
scoffs, and I assume he’s upset that I bring Max on the bus. I roll my head
around on my neck, frustrated. I’m doing the best I can. A car is expensive to
own and put in a garage in New York, even outside the city. Not that he would
know anything about that, growing up like he did.

“As
if I would let you take the bus,” Grayson scoffs.

“Fine,”
I mutter, and Grayson follows us outside as if I’m about to sprint down the
street to lose him. I guess I could because having him be so close to me again
is messing with me, but with Max bouncing around and asking his father a
million questions, I won’t do it. And honestly. I’m not really sure I want to.
I know at least part of me is happy he found us. Happy the secret is out in the
open. I’m just scared what that might mean for the future.

Grayson
directs us to a rental car. It’s a nice one, but not as fancy as I expected. In
the time that we’d known each other, Grayson hadn’t exactly acted like a
billionaire, so I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.

Despite
his disdain for me using the bus, Grayson had been pretty down to earth for
someone with his background.

I
remain silent except to give Grayson directions to Maria’s house, and Grayson
doesn’t speak a word to me, either, just chatting with Max here and there about
his favorite shows and video games.

My head is spinning, and I don’t know which way is up. I can’t
believe this has happened to me, today of all days. My rent is three days late
and my landlord has been texting me constantly. As if on cue, my phone buzzes
in my uniform pocket, but I ignore it. 

Before
I take Max in the house to Maria, he leaps into the front seat to give his
father a big hug, and Grayson looks at him again, like he’s awestruck. It’s
cute, and it makes my heart soar to see how much he seems to be in wonder when
he looks at Max. Pain at the decision I was forced to make years ago slices
through me.

I
shake my head as I walk Max to see Maria. I did the only thing I could to do at
that time. I did what I thought was right. And though I know there is no excuse
to keeping a father from his son, I will try to explain my reasons to Grayson.
Maybe he’ll understand. Maybe he’ll see it my way. I don’t know what he is
doing here or why, but I do know that I’ll never give up Max. But I also know
that I won’t deprive either of them from the other any longer, so maybe, if
that is what he wants, we can co-parent. Unlike me, he certainly has the money
to fly back and forth, so it shouldn’t be a problem.

Everything will be fine, I tell myself, as I
dodge Maria’s questions and go back out to the car.

When
I get back into the car, though, Grayson isn’t looking at me. His knuckles have
gone white on the steering wheel.

“You
took my son,” he says in a low voice, and I take in a deep breath. I want to
defend myself, to tell him that I did what I thought was best, but he doesn’t
let me, turning his head to look at me, his bright blue eyes narrow and his
gaze is harsh. Cold. “You won’t get away with this.”